I’ve gotten into Joe Lycett a bit recently, so much so that when I watch his comedy on Youtube, I’ve usually seen the joke. And one of those jokes is about so called “bullshit quotes”; those ones you see all over Instagram and twitter. Usually I agree, that they are often bullshit but I’ve seen one today that has stuck with me:
Cutting people out of my life does not mean I hate them, it simply means I respect me.
I’ve had a pretty stressful week – I’ve been in and out of meetings at work and outside. It’s meant I’ve been crying out for a break and I don’t think I’m going to see it yet this week. In that mix is a wonderful sprinkle of negative people and I’ve about had enough.
Last year, I made the decision to cut a friend out of my life, who I had been hanging on to because I was worried about their mental health. I was dealing with their emotional abuse because I was worried about the effect my actions would have on them, ignoring the effect their actions were having on me. Suffice to say, I don’t regret my decision to end the friendship to this day.
What I did when I cut them out of my life was make the decision that my own wellbeing was more important and it’s that alone that makes the “bullshit quote” above resonate with me so strongly. I was so engrossed in making sure they were okay that I forgot to deal with my own feelings and emotions. As a result I felt like I was falling apart.
It wasn’t without fall out. For a while, I’d hear things they’d said about me and I’d see things that didn’t make me feel great. Even to this day, hearing about that person hurts. But now, most days, I’m happier than I’ve been for a long time.
I’ve been trying to keep positive a lot of the time. I am, by nature, quite a reactive and angry person which makes it difficult, and negativity can creep back in . Of course, people are a large part of that too and yesterday evening someone did something that enabled that negativity to spin back into the forefront of my mind.
I was scared to act, paralysed by what to do, worried about the ramifications of my actions. But then I saw the “bullshit quote”.
Sure, I was looking for some advice, desperate to try and regain some structure and stability. But it resonated and I’m taking ownership of it, just as I did last year.
I respect me more than anyone else. I respect my health more than anyone else. And I am in control.